A Post-Modern Aesop’s Fable

19 11 2009

This is an Aesop’s fable for our time. Beloved GiovanniWorld member (and super-talented artist) bkeyser received this as an e-mail.

~Eowyn

…………..

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

THE OLD VERSION                                                                                            

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.                        

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..           

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.  The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.                      

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!     
                                                                 
*     *     *     *     *     *

OUR POST-MODERN VERSION                     
                 
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all  summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.                    

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.           

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.                       

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. 

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?       

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’                     

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Rev. Jeremiah Wright damns the ant and asks God to bring forth pain and suffering to the grasshopper.                         

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight. Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.                      

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.  

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house that he is in, which, as you can recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.                  

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.                         

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the now-ramshackled, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.    

The entire Nation collapses taking the rest of the free world with it.                     

MORAL OF THE STORY:  Be careful how you vote in 2010.

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One response

19 11 2009
slicedsky

Bk…..

How true that is…I love that, I received that as well awhile back, always nice to read again that’s for sure.

Here is another one I got today…hope ya all enjoy it as much as I did.

AN ACTUAL CRAIG’S LIST PERSONALS AD

㤤

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from . I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what ‘s going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

P.S. Remember this motto … An armed society makes for a more civil society!㤤

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